Dumping a douchebag boyfriend is kind of like going to the dentist. You know you need to but it’s not going to be pleasant. It’s going hurt. And you’re going to internally list all the reasons you shouldn’t go. But you do, because you know if you put it off any longer it’s just going to cost more in the long run.
Break ups are always hard. Doesn’t matter if you’re the one initiating the “breaking up” or the one “breaking down” either way there are very few times when you get out of any relationship completely unscathed.
But what if he isn’t a douche and you’re the one whose had your heart (what feels like) irreparably shredded into one million pieces? The “new beginning’s are a blessing’ spiel is probably the last thing you are going to want to hear. But after you’ve gone through the expected/mandatory post-break up vodka/drunk texts/ carb overdose you will start to open to the concept and its silver linings.
So wipe away that day old cookie batter from the side of your mouth, change out of your month old pj’s and take the dessert spoon out of the Nutella jar – it’s time to consider some pro’s that your broken heart may be forgetting.
Suddenly you have a wardrobe full of brand new clothes. Well, you may as well have because any one you date hasn’t seen you in them. Therefore they are sparkly, gorgeous and brand new again. That’s my theory and I’m sticking to it. You know that killer black dress you’ve worn out more times than you care to admit, it may as well still have the tags on it. Those old tees you’ve had forever/ basically lived in the entire first year of university, now take on a cool boutique grungy/worn look (just be careful there are no tell-tale food stains).
Warning: Social media (facebook/twitter/instagram) may foil this almost foolproof philosophy.
He doesn’t know you.
After being in a relationship this can feel like a con. It can be terribly inconvenient when it comes to sex, your coffee order, favourite ice-cream flavour and dislikes.
But really a clean slate gives you a chance to not set in your way and to try new things – you never know you might find the change even better.
But seriously, he doesn’t know you.
Don’t like how you were in your last relationship? The clingy/paranoid/depressed/lying/cranky (add your own adjective) person you became or how shaving your legs went out the window after the third date. It’s not just about you getting to know a new person, they are also – and you have the opportunity to be the best version of yourself.
Remember that magical time at the beginning of a relationship, when everything is full of possibility and wonder. When you can’t go an hour without thinking about the other person and you just want to be with them. Around them. Near them. That cliche honeymoon period before the things you once found cute became extremely aggravating and you had yet to fart in front of each other.
While the feeling doesn’t last, it’s a natural high like no other.
If you’re a believer in the old dating saying “the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else” now with tinder, Grindr and online dating this has never been easier. No longer do we have sit at a bar for hours on end and try to hook a man like a fish (while trying to avoid catching the catfish that always seem to be swimming around – and in abundance) .
From the comfort of you’re couch you can browse a selection of possible partners and with more than 2 billion people on tinder – I’m going to boldly say there are zero chances of complete rejection or incompatibility.
Dating again gives you a chance you gain back some confidence you may have
lost misplaced during your last relationship.
Attention and flattery are always nice and there shouldn’t be a lack of it when you’re dating someone new. And if there is you’re dating the wrong people.
Flirting and meeting new people is actually fun! We tend to forget that amongst the angst and sadness at the lost of our “soulmate”. While dating’s not always fun, and sometimes it’s downright cringe-worthy at least it makes for an amusing story to share with girlfriends over cocktails.
You get to experience romance again because more likely than not the romance in your previous relationship had probably fallen to the weigh side. And if you were dating a douche, it might not have even been there to begin with.
The biggest pro? The next one could be the right one.
Need I say more?
And if you read this and you’re still not ready – that’s okay.
I like to think about it this way – if you can love the wrong person that much imagine how much you will love the right one.