Yesterday I decided it was time to wear my yoga pants to an actual yoga class, rather than merely wearing them to the grocery store and pretending I’d just done some sort of physical exercise when in reality I’d been lounging around at home eating ice-cream out of the container and watching hours of Netflix.
The health experts talk about the importance of being “in the moment”. Which as we all know sounds a lot easier than it actually is. As an over thinker I thought yoga might be the answer to silencing my busy and slightly erratic thoughts.
Yoga is an Indian philosophy thousands of years old and is still to this day is widely practised.
It brings together your body and mind and is centred around three main elements. Exercise, breath and meditation.
Practised for good health and relaxation research has shown yoga has a myriad of benefits.
It can increase flexibility, improve digestion, help with food cravings, strengthen and lengthen your muscles – and apparently even improve your sex life.
Supermodel Miranda Kerr openly praises yoga and has been practising for more than a decade (really what more motivation do you need?).
Plus the idea of getting all these health benefits and working out with out actually “working out” sounded almost too good to be true. No weight sessions. No barbells. No sweating all over the cardio equipment. Definitely my kind of workout.
So dressed in my well-worn, everyday yoga pants I headed to my local fitness studio ready to reach serenity and fitness through calm breathing and a little bending.
Between the warrior pose, cobra pose, tree pose and what was supposed to be an eagle pose, I began to realise I am less a human pretzel and more a human drinking straw (I can’t even touch my toes).
And as for a quiet mind? Not even close. These are 28 thoughts I had throughout my first yoga class…
I can’t believe I own 2 never-used yoga mats and forgot to bring one.
I wonder if these communal mats are ever sanitised…
Chanting? I thought that only happens in the movies.
Okay do not laugh. Do. Not. Laugh.
Do not fart. I repeat do not fart. Clench those butt cheeks.
My nose makes a funny noise when I breath out.
My body was not made to hold a pose like this.
I hope I shaved under my arms..
This is the longest 60 seconds of my life. Longer than a microwave minute even.
I wonder if the yoga teacher can see straight down my top..
How come no one else seems to be struggling?
My arms are shaking.
Buck up girl, Miranda Kerr does yoga!
Good for the body, good for the soul, good for the body, good for the soul…
Who knew stretching could be this hard?
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Think stretchy thoughts.
Seriously, I thought yoga was meant to be relaxing.
This is so not relaxing.
I think I’ve pulled something..
I wonder if she’ll say anything if I just lay down on the mat for the rest of the class?
It’s so tempting….
Yes yoga instructor, I’m down. Go on without me.
This is what I call the ‘beached whale’ pose.
I could fall asleep here.
I wonder if she’s noticed me sneaking looks at the clock.
I can’t believe it’s only been 10 minutes.